F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Bueno la verdad es que son las 7.12am y estoy en un carrete, o un after o los restos de este la verdad. Estoy ... mmmm... no sé, quizás de muchas maneras tengo sentimientos encontrados, pero lo único que sé es que tengo un deseo incontenible de decir lo que quiero expresar. Bueno he estado como 2 horas hablando con Jaime, ni tan ebrios ni tan sobrios, la mezcla perfecta para saber que tenemos demasiadas cosas en común en lo que respecta a nuestras relaciones familiares. Quizás en lo que más estamos de acuerdo es que la familia que nosotros elegimos, o sea los amigos, es una de las cosas más importantes de nuestras vidas. Por primera vez nos llamamos mutuamente amigos porque tenemos cosas que nos unen más allá que un simple carrete o una jaqueca producida por el alcohol. Hablamos de aquel tema que necesitaba conversar, y me dijo en mi cara mi error, mi falta de personalidad o seguridad personal para decir lo que siento y actuar para conseguir lo que quiero por miedo al... rechazo¿?. Tengo demasiada poca fe en mi mismo para hacer lo mi alma quiere! Aún tengo muchas cosas que pensar, quiero mucho a un amigo como para perderlo, pero la situación es complicada, incluso Jaime está de acuerdo conmigo en los errores que cometimos y en mi amigo hizo lo que hizo por las razones equivocadas, razones superficiales, razones vanales. Es díficil, no por la situación en sí, sino porque tengo algo en común con Jaime: nos cuesta abrirnos con una persona y cuando lo hacemos solemos salir heridos. Quisiera tener el valor como para decir todo lo que siento, pero no puedo, tengo miedo a demasiadas cosas, incluyendo el perder lo poco que tengo. Quiero que las cosas sean distintas, los involucrados sean otras personas, quiero tener confianza en lo que quiero, quiero tantas cosas pero cada una parece más lejana que la anterior.

Comentarios

Publicar un comentario

Entradas populares de este blog

A prior birthday epiphany

I'm actually less than an hour I'm turning 23 and it's been quite a journey. in less than a year I went from heaven to hell back and forth so many times I lost count. I went from being surrounded b pole I loved in a way I never expected to being a stranger in my own hometown. To losing myself and learning about the kid I used I see in the mirror, to being happy to let the sadness tear me up from the inside.  Yes, I grew up, I was surprised, I allowed myself to be dissapointed by people for one last time, I let the wall keeping me away from falling for a guy down. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I say fight back. There are lessons I must never forget, and I mean it when I say never. The first comes to friends. Friends are magical beings that appear in your life and are loyal to you no matter what. They'd take the bullet for you. They'd swallow their sadness to cheer you up. Friends are beyond time and space, beyond destiny and destinations...
Leer más

First time

There are many first times. We crave them. Our first time outside the coutry, first time on our own, first time doing something crazy, or simply "the" first time. However, there are first times we don't know they are first times 'till it's too late. For example, our first time truly in love. When we're teenagers we have crushes, we think they are our first loves till we realize they're not. As we grow older we have our first kiss and, well, hopefully later, our first time. What we seem to forget is that we rarely share all those first times with the same person, that only happens in movies. Our first love comes later, when we know ourselves, when we less expect it. Our first love comes when you less expect it, that moment when you're off guard, when you might not want to be in love, when love is too silly to believe in.  As we grow older we meet new and more interesting people and there's someone, someone with whom you share a certain connecti...
Leer más

To The Object Of My Affection

I, from another land, met you in the summer, and you from another time, made your way as my lover,  I was reckless and didn't see the moon,  shining brighter, gravitating around you, and though I, I never was one for strings attached. l let you in, to be part of my life. Later the fall came, turning leaves in red, and so promises were made, nice things were said. It showed me that usual as you there are few, Cause you know no season, they avoid you, And though I, I never was one for sharing, Let me say, when you sleep, I lay staring. Finally an early winter came and it's far gone, I had no idea what was it like not spend it alone, I get it now, we're just outlaws of love, running away from anyone with a soul. And though I never was one for happiness, I summon thee and farewell loneliness.
Leer más