Crossed Nicholas

Last night was supposed to be a blast, but everything went wrong. My friend, my dear friend made out with the guy I like so fucking much. I got drunk because of this and I couldn't help but cry in front of some friends. OMG, I can't cry in front of people and I just figured out I can if I'm drunk. Is just I was too sad becuase my friend's betray. According to Izzie I didn't do thing too embarrasing, beside speaking in English. Well, I'm only one that had a terrible night, everyone had some one night lover. I think and I keep thinking, and the thins that hurts me the most ain't the fact that He kissed someone, is the fact i'm so fucking idiot to introduce him to my friend and he was the one who kissed. Why I'm the only one lonely by the end of th night? Am I meant to be lonely? I don't know and if the answer is yes, I don't wanna know. I can't handle this right now. So, what the fuck, I wish everyone find what they are looking for. Talking to Nacho I get to know that Pablo may be having feelings about him, but I don't get why he didn't tell me, is too much right now. Am I that ugly to never get to be loved? What the fuck is wrong with my life or with me? I should hang myself and stop once for all the pain.

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