Like me

"What am I?" People from all the places had once wondered that question over and over again. Gay people do it more often. I can tell, I'm one of them. It's been a while since I think I figured out what I am and people ask me a llot of question usually aiming to the same main question: "What is it like to be gay?". There's just one answer I can give you all: it's complicated. Ever since you're a little kid the world is telling you over and over again that you have to go to college, find the perfect woman, marry her and have kids with her. But, what happens if you wake up a day and you realize you were dreaming about boys and that you cannot see the girls in a different way but as a sister? Here is where all begins. Somehow you feel like you're not doing what you're supposed to do, you feel like there's something different about you, you feel like you should fix it.
And then you turn 16 or 17, all your classmates in high school have a girlfriend and your parents or grandparents start asking why you don't have one, you don't know what to answer. Some of your friends start being suspicius but they won't ask, some jokes in the class might start, you hide all your feelings in something like being funny, laught or you just simply find yourself being friends with only girls. The problem is that no one tells you that there's a possiblity called "homosexuality".
It took me a while that being gay was just like being "vegetarian", there's indeed something different about you, but it doesn't really change who you are. Now a new problem comes up, "what do I do now?". No one tells you what to do. You may find yourself going to those "gay bars" with an "open-minded" friend, you find yourself having blind dates waiting for the other person to teach you what you know is next, you may friend yourself lost. However, when you get things kinda figured out, someone shows up, makes you feel what they call love, and then, eventually, breaks your heart. Don't worry if it happens over and over again, I bet it happens to straight people too.
I would really like to say that there's hope for people like me, but who knows? I'm just 21 and I know I have a long road to go. If someone asks, yes, I still believe there's someone there for me, yes, I've been lost but I found myself, yes, I've done mistakes, yes, I'm happy and proud of who I am and I want everyone to be too.

Thank you all the people who's been there with me

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