From A Wanderluster To The Other Lost Souls

As usual with the end of a year, complications of thoughts come. This was... well, quite a year. I started it in the United States and Finished it at the other side of the world. I started it all pumped up and I ended it tired as fuck. I went from heaven to hell and then purgatory and managed to come back to more or less what my life was. I went from learning lessons on who your true friends are and what love really is to being an English professor and to realize that when you're truly in love you're willing to do unspeakable things. I went from being surrounded by friends 24/7 to reading my eyes off not to let the feeling of loneliness kick in. This was the year part of me died, that part all shinny and smiley to give birth to a darker me willing to do anything to be happy.  Even though 2012 was a tough year, I'm not gonna say it was a crappy year. It had its ups and downs, worse than a rollercoaster. I met the most amazing person, Paulo. Well, a part of me knows that...

Throught the years ever since I came out of the closet to myself. From the moment when I looked in the mirror and said "Nico, you like guys, get over it!", I've wonder over and over again: "why was it so hard?". Being gay is confusing, you're a minority, that's a fact. Most of the people feel attracted to the opposite sex and not the same sex. Most of your classmates feel free to run in the lockers naked as you feel really awkward trying not to look what your body tells you to look and you command your body not to do things you can't control. You feel out of place because everyone start asking you when are you getting a girlfriend. Television says it, music says it, everyone says it. And then they start calling you names, as if being different from everyone else wasn't hard enough. Ok, the title says "latin america" and I guess this pretty much describes what most of gay people feel anywhere. Latin America is basically a bunch of...

Being in love is one of those things that doesn't matter how many languages you speak, you can never explain in words. Love is something that makes you weaker, it makes all the walls come down, it makes you feel naked. Love sometimes feels like being in a bed with no clothes on as the time has gone frozen. At the same time love makes you shine brighter, stronger, as if nothing could ever stop. Love makes you feel like death is the ultimate battle and even that you can overcome. Love makes you feel flawed and flawless at the same time. It makes you feel like you could do anything, and at the same time like you couldn't do anything by yourself. Love also makes you wonder; why did I fall for this person?  Today I read an interesting answer: we accept the love we think we deserve. Do we? It's funny how lately I've changed, and at the same time haven't changed at all. I have changed because I'm more conscious of things, I make decisions, I take chances, I stop c...

I survived. That pretty much describes my current state of mind. I SURVIVED!! Last month was a real chaos, between being in love, finals, work, projects and thesis I thought I wouldn't make it through. However, I did. I guess you never know what you're capable of 'til you're pushed to the limit, and god knows I was pushed to the limit.Ok, Naty deserves her share of credit for working so hard on our thesis, but damn I was busy! I don't think I've slept over 8 hours in a row since... the end of october? But who's keeping count. And even though I was damn tired and busy, it kinda gave me the feeling of finally being in the right track. It made me get over tons of shit and it helped me figure out some stuff. I still can't believe I survived and sorta did it all right. Not my best, but whateva! I still have some stuff going on, but I don't feel the weight of the world on my shoulders any more. And you know what.... I lost some extra weight I had! Per...